tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34403633975597261722024-03-13T12:21:31.667-04:00Brooklyn AikikaiRyuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.comBlogger96125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-67123771242946886532015-04-23T19:18:00.000-04:002015-04-23T19:57:00.288-04:00If you are not sitting...<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><i>If you're not sitting</i>, the Sensei said, <i>you're wasting your life.</i></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">That, more than dying and death, the pupil feared most of all. Too easily he imagined himself old and dried up on a bed worn out and sad under a threadbare blanket looking back--as the light dimmed and the warmth faded--searching through all the spent years and finding nothing of more value than a broken promise, a forgotten dream.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">So he sat. Legs crossed before him, perched on a cushion, on a mat, in a line with students likely motivated by nothing as petty as insecurity, as desperate as fear. He bowed when they bowed and chanted when they chanted, not knowing what any of it meant. Worrying he was doing it all wrong, while he did it all wrong.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">A bell rang. The dojo descended into silence. And, before long, the pupil was drowning in the quiet. A slow panic rose as slight discomforts grew out of proportion and his thoughts ran wild. He tried to focus on his breathing, but he barely resisted jumping up and running out the door. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Eventually, the bell rang again and zazen, an eternity -- 30 minutes long-- was over. The student swore to himself he would never go back, and swore to himself he would try again. Someday.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><i>If you're not sitting, you're wasting your life.</i></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">In this case, I was the student and Savoca Sensei the teacher, but the story may sound familiar to at least some of you who meditate at the dojo. As it turned out, I never went back. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Then an opportunity presented itself, thanks to the generosity of Sensei Savoca and the hard work of all the students who have raised money for scholarships. In February I was able to attend Winter Camp at Juba Nour Sensei's Baja Aikido dojo. I didn't know what to expect, other than I would be expected to attend every class, including meditation. And it was the meditation I feared even more than the legendary Bulgarians I knew would also be there.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I was right to be afraid. In addition to the Zen, we practiced Misogi every morning. As the sun rose each day I shouted along with the other students until my voice was hoarse, sitting seiza until my feet numbed and my knees screamed. Each day I felt pushed to the very edge of my tolerance. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">The Misogi never got easier. If anything, it got harder, but it was gratifying to know I could do it.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">A strange thing happened, however, during zazen on the day before I left. I experienced the most fleeting of epiphanies, yet the realization has stayed with me. That morning I gave up on trying to control my mind; I did not fight it or try to push down the panic. Instead, I stopped worrying about it--not altogether, but enough to begin to understand the voice in my head, the babbling stream of consciousness-- it is not me. I don' t know who I am, if I'm not that relentless narrator who never seems to shut up, but I do know now I am more than that. The day before I left, for just a moment, I was able to ignore the noise in my mind.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I didn't find enlightenment that day, but it felt like I took a step toward something important.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><i>If you're not sitting, you're wasting your life. </i></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"><i></i></span><br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I'm not sure it is possible to waste a whole life. In all these years I've lived, there have been moments that counted for something. No matter what happens in the future, I know that trip to Baja was filled with them. For that, I can't thank Brooklyn Aikikai enough. </span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span><br /></div>
<br />
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I am sure I'll waste plenty more of the few precious days I have left, but I'll have my moments, too--moments that count--and not even I can take those away from me.</span></div>
Ryuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-37373871073589918632014-12-02T10:56:00.000-05:002014-12-02T11:00:26.891-05:00It's All About You, But It's Not All About You<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: .5in 1.0in 1.5in 2.0in 2.5in 3.0in 3.5in 4.0in 4.5in 5.0in 5.5in 6.0in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Avenir;">I've always been uncomfortable with money,
especially asking for it. I come from a hard-working immigrant family and there
wasn't a lot of extra income when I was young. And asking other people for
money? Forget it. Every time the band fundraiser came around, I would go to the
two neighbors who I knew would buy a tin of cookies without fail. The prizes
for the student who raised the most never motivated me. In this area of my
life, I had no problem coming in last place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: .5in 1.0in 1.5in 2.0in 2.5in 3.0in 3.5in 4.0in 4.5in 5.0in 5.5in 6.0in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: .5in 1.0in 1.5in 2.0in 2.5in 3.0in 3.5in 4.0in 4.5in 5.0in 5.5in 6.0in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Avenir;">So when I heard the word "fundraiser"
at the dojo, I thought, "ok, I'll do my part, I'll buy a ticket, I'll help
clean, and that's that." After coming back from summer camp last year,
which was paid for by a dojo scholarship, Sensei pointed at me and said,
"You. You'll be good at raising money. You're going to help with the
fundraiser." I wanted to tell him, "No, no, I think you might have it
wrong. See, I'm terrified of asking people for money. It makes my stomach
churn." Instead, I replied, "Uh, ok, yes, sure."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: .5in 1.0in 1.5in 2.0in 2.5in 3.0in 3.5in 4.0in 4.5in 5.0in 5.5in 6.0in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: .5in 1.0in 1.5in 2.0in 2.5in 3.0in 3.5in 4.0in 4.5in 5.0in 5.5in 6.0in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Avenir;">To maintain distance between myself and the
discomfort of asking for money, I focused on logistics. If you're keeping your
head down and working, no one can really find fault with you, right? It's a
good way to hide. But surprise! I chose to train in a martial art that's about
the opposite of hiding. “Present yourself!” Post-fundraiser, during the follow
up, I messed up and some things fell through the cracks. When we discussed it
as a team with Sensei, I wanted to say, "It's not my fault. I really hate
money. Also, I don't know what I'm doing, and no one told me what to do."
Thinking about it later, I realized that I didn't just have an issue with
money. I also hesitated in stepping up, taking responsibility, asking for help,
or even being ok about making decisions. It was hard to say "Yes, the buck
stops with me on this. So if it's messed up, it's me. And if you need to know
what else needs to be done, that's me too." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: .5in 1.0in 1.5in 2.0in 2.5in 3.0in 3.5in 4.0in 4.5in 5.0in 5.5in 6.0in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: .5in 1.0in 1.5in 2.0in 2.5in 3.0in 3.5in 4.0in 4.5in 5.0in 5.5in 6.0in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric;">
<span style="font-family: "Avenir","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Avenir;">I decided this year would be different. If I
saw what needed to be done, then I would step up and do it or ensure it was
done by providing guidance or a helping hand. I wasn't going to look around the
room and wait and see who else would do it. Shockingly, I was also excited
about raising the money. What changed? I'm not quite sure. Maybe it was just an
accumulation of seminars, hours, injuries, and off-the-mat experiences, but it
was clear to me that the dojo was central in me seeing myself differently, and
in making better choices for myself. The fundraiser was no longer only about
asking people for money. If I thought about the dojo like a well from which I
drew water, then I wanted to help replenish that well for myself and for
others. And how long was I going to keep hiding behind my fear of money? If I
was serious about Aikido, then it was time to present myself to my fear and do
it. I felt this shift in attitude palpably when I accompanied Sensei to Athens
in September. My sempai, Andrés, hadn't arrived yet, and even though there was
a former uchideshi there, I was the only student from Brooklyn. Stepping onto
the mat straight from the airport in a surreal haze of jetlag and sleep
deprivation, I thought, "Shit. It's me. There's no one else." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: .5in 1.0in 1.5in 2.0in 2.5in 3.0in 3.5in 4.0in 4.5in 5.0in 5.5in 6.0in; text-autospace: ideograph-numeric;">
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<!--StartFragment-->
<span style="font-family: "Avenir","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-hansi-font-family: Avenir;">At
the same that the fundraiser pushed me to see that “it's ME, I'm IT,” I also
saw that it wasn't all me. It wasn't about me keeping my head down and trying
to do everything. First, that's impossible. Second, that's hiding and will mess
things up. And third, it's unfair to the large, strong community of people who
are pouring themselves into the dojo in so many ways. In lifting my head up to
present myself, I also got to see all the beautiful things that others were
doing. Festival quality films got made, posters were designed, donations were
made from around the country and the world, spaces were organized, quiches were
baked, prizes were donated. Everyone was presenting themselves, and it was
humbling. I guess this is the weird paradox that Aikido points to: be focused,
see the target, be present, present yourself, but also see everything, also
step off the line, also absorb. It is all about you, but it's not all about
you.</span><!--EndFragment-->
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Avenir","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-hansi-font-family: Avenir;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Avenir","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-hansi-font-family: Avenir;">-A. Shridhar</span>Ryuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-60136453832502618072014-09-09T17:37:00.000-04:002014-09-09T17:37:59.491-04:00A Memorial to My Father<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRfztd7fvA3KnB8egYP_yjyymO-iIYQYkiJJXL7HQKe2nj5atH_GdowdJlieC4jozpCoBFTZ44oc8LJ0wTdUMW4N2TYNEdRu24dQJdlDZMfI1pPmuybBzKbUYnT2PFFLcRN4XmTVGF3GTu/s1600/my+dad.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRfztd7fvA3KnB8egYP_yjyymO-iIYQYkiJJXL7HQKe2nj5atH_GdowdJlieC4jozpCoBFTZ44oc8LJ0wTdUMW4N2TYNEdRu24dQJdlDZMfI1pPmuybBzKbUYnT2PFFLcRN4XmTVGF3GTu/s1600/my+dad.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<i> Dominic J. Savoca (on right), Paris, France, August 30th, 1944</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
A memorial to the recently deceased is a highly personal
thing, and not something I would ordinarily post on the internet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But my father, who passed away last Tuesday,
will always be inextricably linked to this dojo and therefore I feel it is
appropriate to write of his life and of his passing in the context of this dojo
forum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Brooklyn Aikikai would not exist
without my father and I don’t mean that merely in the obvious way – in that he
brought me into this world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is much
more than that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For the many of you who have not met my father, he was born
in 1924 in New Jersey, to parents who emigrated from Sicily.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He grew up in the Depression and lost his own
father at a young age, which impressed upon him the need to work hard early
on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At age 18 he was drafted into the
army for World War II.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He fought in the
28<sup>th</sup> Infantry Division which was known as “The Bloody Bucket” and
fought in the Battle of the Bulge—one of the fiercest battles in the European
campaign.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He considered himself lucky to
have survived.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After WWII he attended
New York University and Columbia University, and thereafter was associated with
Transamerica Life Insurance Company for 58 years.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is an understatement to say Brooklyn Aikikai would have
been different had I had a different father. I learned the necessity of
discipline, hard work and persistence from my father, and also my mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although I could not understand the urgency with
which my father educated me in the early years, I now feel blessed to have been
the focus of such a drive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It took me
many years to understand that he was truly from a different generation—the WWII
generation—whereas my friends’ fathers were the “baby boomers.” This distinction
alone had my sisters and me growing up in a different direction than our peers.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This direction led directly to me being impressed with the
traditional Japanese culture—one of hard work and trying to deeply penetrate
one thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Giving your all to a
discipline, come what may.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My father put
me into Judo at age 12, and from there I found Aikido and have continued to
stick with it to this day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Who was my father, truly?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A solider, a husband, a father, a businessman…and yet all of these fall
short of how I would describe him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As
one of my sisters recently said, he was a force.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He didn’t believe in giving up, or falling
short.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He did his best through many
impossible conditions and demanded we do the same in our lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One time, when he had to have the only
surgery in his life (a quadruple bypass) I told him I loved him as the gurney
was pushed into the surgery room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
looked at me directly and simply said, “Don’t waste your life.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew he meant to give all that I had to
each moment, and I was amazed that he could say this at that time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Such was the man he was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He was also a deeply devout Catholic and his devotion
inspired me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had a tremendous faith –
and I knew it had been tested.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He told
all of his children that faith was essential, and this is something I feel must
truly be brought into our practice of Aikido.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Most important for me, however, is that I saw that my
father struggled with himself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It took
me a long time to see this, and I often judged him harshly when younger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I know that he searched himself, and tried
to better himself however he could.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many
people were inspired by him and knew him to be the gentleman he truly was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I get older, I can see a bit more
objectively who my father really was, and it astonishes me it took so long.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In closing, I would like to deeply thank my father for giving
me all that he could.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our dojo is what
it is due to his influence, my mother’s, and of course to all ancestors before
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps it takes the death of a
parent to become truly grateful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
God bless you, Dad.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Robert Savoca<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Brooklyn, New York<o:p></o:p></div>
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September 2, 2014<o:p></o:p></div>
Ryuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-14798194740020419792014-07-21T15:36:00.000-04:002014-07-21T15:38:52.586-04:00Shugyo by I. Tirado-Flores<br />
<div class="p1">
I’ve been working 36 hrs straight on this case, my body long past fatigue. I would drink coffee, but that would only serve to agitate an already foggy mind, besides the uneasy queasiness reminds me that my body is slowly shutting down, as I still the tremors in my hands. A defenseless little boy needs me to bring him justice, to show him that the world has compassion. He no longer has a voice, but maybe I can speak for him. As my mind wanders off, I take a deep breath and bring my attention back to my center. I have trained for this for fifteen years, this is my Shugyo.<br />
<br />
In my early days of aikido, Shugyo was the daily hours spent at the dojo training and the long hours spent working out afterwards. I remember practicing rolls and breakfalls on the concrete sidewalk in order to test my ukemi. Attacking hard, throwing hard, and expecting the same in return as we chipped away the imperfections of our technique and spirit. Looking back, those were good days; I miss the camaraderie, the familiar aching of my body, the arrogance of knowing I was working harder than anybody else on the mat.<br />
<br />
After a time the Shugyo became Musha Shugyo as I began my pilgrimages to the various schools of aikido. “Look not to learn a hundred variations of a technique” my sensei admonished, “look for the underlying essence of a technique in the variations.” So I traveled, traveled to Japan, to other States, and to the various schools this city has to offer. I did my best not to default back to past teachings, but rather tried to decipher the ideas and techniques of others in a quest for deeper understanding. The years of Musha Shugyo made me more humble, as I fumble to learn new a method of executing a technique I had performed thousands of times in the past. My ego slowly stripped away as I sought the assistance of lower ranking students as I explored the mysteries of aikido.<br />
<br />
So here I am, in an interview room ready to do battle with a perpetrator of a heinous crime. This is not a battle of brawn, but of mind. I calmly deflect her displays of anger. I seek out the tsuki (opening) in her deceptions. Her opposition is hopeless as she fights against the void, and I slowly lead her towards the truth which she cannot admit to herself. And when the time is right I extend my ki and watch her crumble before me. My job is done; hopefully I have done my art proud.<br />
<br />
Later that night, after a few hours of sleep I kneel on the mat, as tears begin to well up in my eyes. I take a deep breath, find my center, and the outside world slowly dissolves away. During practice I marvel at the next generation of aikidoka, seeing the passion ablaze in their eyes as they pursue this art with youthful abandon as I once did. Their intensity pushing my body to its physical threshold, forcing me to draw more heavily from my understanding of aikido in order to keep pace with the tidal relationship of uke and nage. At the end my body is both spent and yet invigorated; my mind enters a state of sublime repose.<br />
<br />
As I put on my suit, I reflect on the work I have accomplished both on and off the mat. My only wish is that my fellow aikidoka will be able to manifest this art in the outside world with the same passion and dedication that they have shown here. I put on my hat, walk out the door and smile as the nighttime air resonates with the memory of thousands of such nights, and the promise of thousands more nights to come.<br />
<br />
- Isaias Tirado-Flores</div>
Ryuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-24746570129864642882014-04-22T22:52:00.000-04:002014-04-22T22:52:11.093-04:00Training at the Farm by D. Hall<div class="MsoNormal">
Last week I was lucky enough to be able to accompany Sensei
and some other dojo members to Krissie’s farm on the edge of New Jersey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I’d heard about the trip I was eager to
go along.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spent a lot of time on farms
and in the countryside as a kid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where I
grew up was 10 minutes from the town centre and not much further to ‘the
country’, although, on reflection, it all kind of overlapped really. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of my grandfathers worked on the dairy farm next to his
house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My other grandfather has kept
poultry and other animals all his life and has lots of friends who are farmers
and small holders and outdoors enthusiasts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>From the ages of 2 to around 13 or 14 I spent many a weekend and holiday
hanging out with my grandad, feeding animals, collecting eggs, picking potatoes
and mushrooms, messing around with dangerous, rusting archaic machinery and
tools and bales of hay in crumbling barns, catching things, shooting guns,
nearly getting run over by tractors, nearly drowning in a river.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All great fun, and a suitable counterpoint to
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Space Invaders</i> and antagonising
security guards in town.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The weather was absolutely perfect for a retreat from the
city.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was indeed a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">real treat</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Both days we sat zazen, undertook samu, and practiced
weapons art, if one craves formality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another
way of saying it would be how nice it was to hang out and enjoy a little bit of
how life could (have) be(en).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We chopped
down a couple of (small) trees–horrifying, I know– to make way for some fruit
trees.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The old trees were given a new role,
though, with branches used for path edging and the trunk chopped into logs
which we then plugged with mushroom spawn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Being bare-footed on grass felt incredible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It also offered something of a respite for
the knees.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not being hemmed in by sheet
rock was a great feeling, and being in sunlight?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My gods!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Phenomenal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s been great at
the dojo since the installation of the new gate, with sunlight streaming in
through the narrow windows above on mornings, and with it becoming an
appropriate time of year to actually open it too, but to be outside, all day,
working and practicing brings a whole other dimension.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When Sensei asked me to write something about the weekend for
the blog I initially thought I would write about these differences, of training
outside compared to inside the dojo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Actually,
I immediately thought how fussy and linear the written word can be. Compared to
speech there’s too much time elapsed between thinking and mechanically
recording those thoughts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Actions speak
louder than words, it is said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“No
pressure”, Sensei said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>None at all, except
that which had just been exerted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Taking
some time to think about it, however, the overarching experience and impact of
the weekend for me were thoughts on the importance, experience and permeation
of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">connection</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are almost always connected in this modern condition,
whilst simultaneously being mostly disconnected from each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Now!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need it now!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Actually, we needed it yesterday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We literally have the sum of humankind’s
knowledge at our fingertips, but instead we mostly scroll through trivia and the
outrageous antics of ‘celebrities’, or organize colored shapes on a tiny screen
instead of engaging with each other on the subway or bus or wherever– it
cracks me up that we mostly choose to ignore our own species, while two dogs
passing in the street hardly ever fail to acknowledge each other’s
presence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My wife has a colleague who
cannot send one email at time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s
always two, one right after the other, with the corrections or amendments to
the hastily sent first, and I was sitting at dinner one Saturday night, laughing
internally at a friend’s attempts to legitimately induct into the soirée the
smart [sic] ‘phone he cannot bear to be disconnected from for more than two
minutes at a time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Incidentally, the subject
of one of the latest unread emails in my burgeoning inbox was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What To Read When Dining With An iPad</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can only hope, but will never know if, it
is satire.<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s not all bad of course.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Great things have occurred partly due to this connectivity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has allowed the spontaneous rallying of
like-minded individuals to organize and protest against cruel and corrupt organizations
and governments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So effective has this
been that ousted president Mubarak ‘turned off’ the internet in Egypt 2011, as
did Syria in 2012, and in the last couple of weeks Turkey has made (futile)
attempts to ban Twitter and YouTube<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">.</i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Individuals with doubts, misgivings and suspicions of events
and situations in Iran, Venezuela, Ukraine, the United States, Europe– pretty
much everywhere in the world then– have all effectively been brought together to
publicly demonstrate their objections by social media in a time when increasing
distrust of traditional news media prevails.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And rightly so!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need to swim
against the tide of divide and conquer, the stay in your homes and gorge
yourself on Miley Cyrus, on LOL cats, entire HBO series back-to-back,
swedishcrutch.com, zombies, vampires, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hunger
Games</i>, Scarlett Johansson’s arse, who wore what to where and when, 25
Celebrities Who Used To Be Ugly/Rich/Men/Women, Zappos, Amazon, etc, etc, etc… culture
of artifice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need to connect with
like-minded, but more importantly, right-minded people throughout the world and
establish and maintain an intellectual order in order to save ourselves from
our own stupid selves. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not once on the farm did I think about ‘checking’ the
internet– you know, just to make sure it was still there– or sending email.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I only sent my wife a text on Sunday
afternoon as she would be leaving for Paris before I‘d get home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was really good to (re)connect with the
self, others and the ‘countryside’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s
been a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It must have been.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I took earplugs to a farm.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And you could probably stop reading here and know how I felt
about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But like a dog with a bone, or
a Frisbee, give me a subject and watch me go.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ergo:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was, for a time, a sign in the men’s changing room at
the dojo urging we <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Enjoy Work For Its Own
Sake</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I simultaneously read it with
an accent as <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Enjoy Work For Its Own</i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Saké</i>, which I think is just as valid an
interpretation– you’ve got to earn it, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s funny how the concept of work has changed. It used to
largely comprise moving matter around the surface of the earth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While that is already a somewhat dubious
endeavor on the grand scheme of things, it is slightly more tangible than
moving data around a largely invisible network, in an increasingly, blatantly
illusory world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A couple of weeks ago
the bank of England released a report that admits and confirms money is an
illusion, and our businesses and aural and visual entertainments are being pushed
further and further into The Cloud.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ever
since the invention of the wheel, nay, the spear, technology has supposedly existed
to make our lives easier, but we all still seem to be so busy. In fact ask
anyone and chances are they will proclaim it with a kind of pious, virtuous
zeal– “I’m <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">SO </i>busy!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There’s nothing wrong with work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think we need it in some shape or form as a
counterpoint to our leisure. In fact, with some sort of manual labor or
quotidian physical exertion we wouldn’t need to do as much running as we all seem
to be doing. If we’re not busy, we’re running.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Runners are becoming more of a menace than cyclists.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our work has made us mostly sedentary, and snack-fuelled,
hence the need to expel excess energy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
also need some sort of structure, no?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Otherwise, without a framework what do we have to kick against?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“The greatest danger for an artist is total
freedom,” (Fellini).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We want to eat,
right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And sleep in a bed, in a shelter
of some sort?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some effort needs to be
exerted somewhere in exchange for all of this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It doesn’t go unnoticed, though, that we, the most ‘advanced’ species on
the planet are the only ones who actually pay to live here…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I digress.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Usually.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not talking about adhering to the myth of the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Nobility of Toil</i> by the masses that mostly
benefits, and is perpetrated by, the privileged elite– anything ‘honorable’ is
generally not very easy to attain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>However, I’ve yet to hear a convincing argument against the need to
perform or undertake some sort of useful role in society.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We all consume something that is the product of labor and it
is woefully idealistic to believe otherwise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There is also, I believe, something satisfying about altering or
transforming one’s immediate environment through work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cleaning, gardening, decorating and the like,
while all being somewhat necessary, offer some intrinsic, short-term reward of
joy or contentment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every thing, action,
endeavor is, could or should be a meditation, a contemplation of existence, a
mode of consciousness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So on the farm there
was the obvious, immediate, physical connection with the earth and with the
Earth; the landscape, soil, the tools, the trees, the mycelium plugs, the uneven
grass underfoot during weapons, and the sun on exposed skin –- things that are
easily forgotten or overlooked in the city.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We didn’t directly or immediately produce anything we consumed, but the
facility exists and has essentially been put into motion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Literally, you reap what you sow, and we were
sowing apples, peaches, pears and mushrooms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What is more connected than the mushroom?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The largest known living organism on the planet is a 2400
year-old, 2200 acre mushroom mycelium network in Eastern Oregon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is the subterranean fibrous mat that holds
the distinction, not the fruit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Alas, there
is a no single, giant mushroom the size of 1500 football fields, or a town, up in
the Blue Mountains.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mycelia can
transmit information across their huge networks in a similar way to the human
brain and the internet– almost, and for all intents and purposes, instantaneously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or, more correctly, one supposes, the human
brain and the internet conform to the same behavior as mycelia, seeing as
they’ve been around since pretty much the dawn of time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While many a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">TED Talk</i>, ‘alternative’ website, or conversation with amateur
mycologist or urban shaman make convincing arguments for the ecological
importance, sentience, evolutionary correlative traits and primitive/cosmic
power of the mushroom that go largely over my head, the connection of
connection was not lost on me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At a phenomenal, and I dare to say well-earned, dinner that
evening we discussed, among things, haptics, albeit not quite so formally
heralded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our talk meandered to the
different notions of acceptable displays of intimacy and personal touch–physical
connection– that exist in different parts of the world from our own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It sounds obvious, for I think we all ‘know’
it to be true–I for one <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">believe</i> it to
be a truth–but in Mexico and Greece people are generally much more visibly
passionate and tactile with each other, as compared to, say, North America.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>India, too, has different codes and behaviors–
of course, we’re not totally homogenized just yet, thankfully– with men showing
an incredible level of intimate touch with other men, yet little or none in
their outward displays of affection towards women, including their wives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plenty of these wives, though, have had no
qualms about plonking their children on my lap and declaring me <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Uncle! </i>whilst grilling me on my salary
why I wasn’t married or had no children of my own. In Britain, meanwhile, the
notional pedophile is having a deleterious effect on the acceptability of showing
affection towards children not one’s own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>While I am aware that crimes of all kinds occur, should we raise a
generation devoid of physical human contact for which emotional connection is
somewhat alien? Do we add this to the two generations of China’s one-child Family
Planning Policy only children, and, though by no means entirely exclusive to
Japan now, the self-imposed shut-in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">otaku</i>?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>OK.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
may glean some connectivity from the internet, but there needs also to be
physical human connection to maintain health, well-being and sanity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are by nature social creatures and need
other human beings to interact with, to exchange concepts, energy, stories and
jokes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thus:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
What’s brown and sticky?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A stick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And by a stick I mean a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">jo</i>.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Sticky!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sticky!”
shouted Sensei as we practiced weapons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“Keep connected!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">finally</i>
made some sense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And there again was the
concept of ‘connection’ made manifest, for that is the crux of aikido–
maintaining contact and blending with your opponent. That has been a difficult idea
for me to grasp and I have literally wrestled with it and plenty of people during
practice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not that I’m trying or
wanting to be alpha or macho or antagonistic, it is, to me, and I’m sure many
others, totally counter intuitive to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">combine</i>
one’s energy with that of one’s assailant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Historically, I’d usually meet force head-on with force.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it’s not just muscling it or steaming in,
is it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is called martial <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">arts, </i>right<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>And “art establishes the
basic human truths” (Kennedy, John F. 1963).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Connection is the fundamental principle of aikido.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By blending, ‘going with the flow’, the
struggle ceases and so then does the opposition and thus the conflict.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For me personally, this is something of a
major breakthrough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whether I’ll
actually be able to maintain that on the mat is another thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“The difficult must become habit, habit easy
and the easy beautiful” I read in a book on acting from the bookcase in the
room I’d slept in at the farm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will endeavor
to be mindful of that.<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With technology and popular/consumerist culture, there has
been a slow, steady drift away from a sense of self as part of nature’s whole– of
course.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Buy your happiness, stupid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As technology advances there is a danger that
we will retreat or be forced into a virtual world, instead of maybe addressing
socio-political problems propagated by poverty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What is wrong with <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">reality?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Why do we, collectively, seem to want to
retreat into a virtual one, with infinite choices and micro-control?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Part of the many reasons I think I was
vegetarian for over 15 years was to simplify the menu experience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do not need that much choice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Am I hungry?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>OK.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Crack on and address that urge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do I really need Instagram<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>or Google Glass<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>or a whole host of other interfaces and apps I don’t really (care
to) know about in order to live a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">more</i>
complete and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">more </i>fulfilled life, and
what happens when the internet goes down? Do I really need to perform ‘better’
and progress ‘further’ in my personal and professional life?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And does there need to be a split between the
two?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know children of six and nine with
laptops who live in homes with giant TVs who have atrocious handwriting and
spelling and even more atrocious attention spans, who hardly ever play outdoors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I see them being set-up to chase the holy
grail of unattainable, materialistic, disposable lifestyles marketed to them
via this proliferation and invasion of media.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They know more about <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Moshi
Monsters</i> than they do about mathematics…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s easy to become nostalgic about the past, and memory is
wonderfully selective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t decide if
I’m getting old, wising up a bit, a stick-in-the-mud, an out-moded artisan
smashing looms, if I read too much dystopian sci-fi as a kid, or a mix of all
of the above, but last weekend re-affirmed a connection with what it is, to me,
to be human; manual labor, cooking, eating, being outdoors, communing with
others and having time and energy to devote to contemplating the existential.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was also an opportunity to establish and
nurture connections with some of the people with whom I occasionally share a
tiny part of the multiverse.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m going
outside.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Blissings.<br />
<br />
Darren<o:p></o:p></div>
Ryuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-614426360839495372014-03-16T20:45:00.000-04:002014-03-16T20:45:14.574-04:00On Pain - by Z. Ludescher<div class="p1">
Pain comes in many forms. There is of course physical pain, which comes in the form of sore muscles, stomach aches, and stiff joints. But emotional pain is common as well: sadness that accompanies loss; fear that shows up when facing a dark, unknown path; or guilt that rears its head when we accidentally harm the ones we love.</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
To separate the two seems a bit misleading, as “emotional” pain is often felt in our very physical bodies. Any teenager who’s been dumped can attest to the very real pain felt in their chest. While watching a horror flick, muscles tighten as the killer closes in on the protagonist. And every over-worked, stressed and anxious New Yorker I know has felt their blood pressure rise as deadlines have closed in.</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
Yesterday, Sensei mentioned that pain is unavoidable. Continuing that thought, I believe that not only is pain unavoidable, but that we can also find value in pain.</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
To begin with, pain can be a useful learning tool. Pain can let us know when to move, to get out of the way. There are times when I’m practicing Aikido that I don’t move, that I try to use brute strength to accomplish a goal. When I’ve done that with a more senior student, I’ve ended up with screaming pain in my wrists, or hands, or stomach. And so I’ve learned to move, to study the techniques more closely, and to become more sensitive to what is happening around me and to me.</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
Pain can also be a valuable aid in overcoming obstacles. At one point in our evolutionary history, the surge of adrenaline that accompanied fear may have meant the difference between outrunning a predator and becoming a meal. As the over-worked office worker’s deadline approaches and stress levels increase, the body releases cortisol, which serves to divert energy from low-priority systems (like immune response) to higher-priority systems (like brain function). The re-routing of energy may give that worker the boost he needs to finish his proposal and spare him the wrath of his boss. (He may not be spared the wrath of a sedentary, high-stress lifestyle, however.)</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
For much of my life, like many people, I have worked to avoid pain and maximize pleasure. There’s a certain, irrefutable logic in this. Given the choice of a banquet or a torture chamber, humans seem built to prefer the former. However, over the last few months I’ve begun to re-evaluate my opinion.</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
I came to Aikido at a time in my life when my short term pursuit of pleasure over pain was starting to catch up with me. I’d just turned 30 and I realized that I was considerably healthier at 20 than at 30, and that if I continued the trend I would be even worse off at 40 and less healthier still at 50. Not the trajectory I wanted. For the past decade, I’ve been slowly watching t.v. more and exercising less. Reaching for the frozen burrito over making a healthy lunch out of fresh ingredients. Buying bread more instead of making it. Reaching for substances that are pleasing to my senses instead of getting a good night’s rest. And though I was not an overweight, depressed sloth, I was noticing that I was certainly moodier, I was slowly putting on weight, and I had less energy for the things I wanted to do in life. Over time, small choices add up.</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
And so I began training Aikido.</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
I made a commitment to myself that I would be healthier at 40 than I was at 20. Which meant I had to face the pain. The pain of making time in my schedule. The pain of say no to staying in and watching netflix and instead getting out the door and to the dojo. The pain in my wrists, my hands, and my legs that accompanies a martial dialogue with someone far more capable than myself. The pain of not knowing, of being unsure of myself when everyone around me seems to know what to do, how to do it, and why.</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
Some of my friends look at me strangely and ask why I’m doing this. Why would anyone <i>choose</i> to get beat up day after day? It’s not like I face a lot of violent threats in my day to day, so martial arts seems superfluous to my lifestyle. What they are asking is why would I go through the pain.</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
To me, the answer is becoming more and more obvious. In just a few short months I have become stronger, more limber, and my energy levels are skyrocketing. The layer of fat that was slowly building up around my belly started shrinking. That sluggish, low-energy feeling that was becoming more and more common is dissipating. I’m happier. I feel more prepared to face the world, the challenges of my day to day...even if they are just finishing an edit or vacuuming my apartment. In facing the pain, I have learned, and I have gained.</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
There are times when it is harder to face the pain. When getting out the door to the dojo means I will have to work harder when I get home. When I’m sore and tired and the last thing in the world I want to do is get tossed around by someone almost 10 years my junior like I’m a toy. However, on those days when I’ve resisted coming and still packed my gi into my bag, I walk out of dojo feeling more alive than ever.</div>
<div class="p2">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="p1">
And so lately, I’ve been coming around to the idea of embracing pain, or at the very least facing it head on. Because I’m realizing a few things about pain. For one, pain is often ephemeral. The discomfort of saying no to the comfort of a book on my couch in favor of training is minimal and forgotten quickly. The aches and pains in my muscles subside in a week or so. And though they are more often than not replaced by other pains (why does the top of my foot hurt?), those too will fade. But more importantly, I’m learning that I can often gain more when I push through. The pleasure I feel having more energy, breathing deeper, and being able to run for longer with my dogs far outweighs the pain I experienced getting here. The embarrassment of not knowing how it is that someone 10 years my senior could so thoroughly destroy me on the mat is trumped by the satisfaction of learning something new. And I look to the future with more hope and optimism, knowing that the pain I push through today makes me stronger, healthier, and more resilient.</div>
Ryuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-81044107958325267682014-01-06T12:51:00.000-05:002014-01-06T12:51:03.571-05:00On Giving<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
In the Buddhist tradition, the six <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">paramitas</i> refer to six virtues that one seeking
enlightenment or Buddhahood must possess. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dana</i>,
or giving, is the first of the paramitas. There are many forms of giving, but I
would like to mention three, and comment on them in relation to our practice in
aikido.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
According to the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Vimalakirti Sutra</i>, (tr. Burton Watson,
Columbia U. Press, 1997) the three primary ways to practice giving are:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->The
gift of non-fear; <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .75in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Gifts
of the dharma, i.e., preaching the dharma (the way) to others;<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .75in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Gifts
of material goods such as food, shelter, clothing, money, et cetera.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
While material gifts, the third category,
may not seem as lofty as the other gifts, they are just as essential. Without
basic necessities such as food, water, clothing, and shelter, it is extremely
difficult to begin to cultivate an inner life, a deeper life. For a true study
of the self, one must be able to have one’s basic needs met.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This is
similar to daily practice in the dojo: if we cannot pay the electricity and other
daily bills, we cannot afford to keep the physical structure in which we
practice open. Gifts made such as money, tools, supplies, and training
equipment can be essential to keeping a dojo running well. And because dues
collected for teaching do not represent a realistic exchange for learning the
art, it is necessary to encourage these donations to have a flourishing dojo.
Beyond these basic needs, our practice demands other stimulation: we cannot
practice in a vacuum, no matter how long we have trained. For this we often
need to travel—to meet and interact with others at different dojos and to train
with them. The practical side of travel, whether sending students to a seminar
or bringing high-quality teachers to one’s own dojo, requires an immense amount
of money—funds for gas, planes, food, et cetera. A gift given toward keeping
the dojo running well, or encouraging exchange of practice, can be listed in
the above third category of gift-giving.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The second
category of giving is that of making known the dharma, or the way. In our case,
I would suggest this is the offer of our practice, our knowledge, to others. As
countless others have helped us with their efforts, so too must we give back
and help others. Generations of individuals long since passed have helped to
bring forth our art and develop it. Truly understanding this should keep us
humble and grateful. No matter our level, we must do our best to give back a
gift of our knowledge and practice. By doing this, we keep ki circulating and lively.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only by giving back can we insure a line
of practice is continued. This second category of gift-giving could also be
thought of as making known the principles of the art. By correctly making known
the art, we preserve it for future generations and are giving a gift to future
students.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
The first category of gift-giving
is the alms of non-fear. This is the gift of a certain quality of peace, of
hope, to others. If aikido is truly an art that can help to reconcile opposing
forces, then we must be able to see this aspect of the practice and give it to
others. Often a student or fellow practitioner has difficulties on the way. A
vital gift can be offered to support this person—to provide her/him
encouragement at a time when s/he needs it most. If a gift of non-fear can be given,
it has the potential for a radical transformation—one that could truly change a
person’s state of despair into one of hope. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
To continue with the Buddhist
model, we can look at the above ways of giving in relation to the Buddha, the
Dharma, and the Sangha.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
The Buddha, with his outstretched
hand, corresponds with the alms of non-fear (the first category), giving hope
to all that each one of us may know our real nature, and that suffering can be
ended. This image is the symbol for the cutting away of self, and is the
ultimate gift to one’s Self. Practice on this level means each one of us realizing
our true nature.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
The Dharma flows naturally forth
from the Buddha’s hand, his teaching spreading throughout the world. This gift
(the second category) is the gift of the dharma, or law, to transmit correct
principles and ethics to future generations.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
The Sangha (or third category) supports
the practice and work of each person engaged in the Dharma, and, in doing so,
provides a foundation on which to continue and build their practice. The gift
of the Sangha is the gift of supporting practice.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This
three-fold model can be seen as a triangle, each aspect contributing to the
other:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 6;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 5;"></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5kGnyQFHcjBbpZr3vije9duA1Sa8MXGXj887fk-qOiA7KEgGrq3GVQmmWl439ygLlkx2J6kPlsqNdZTmh5qoFh5QKBFOOz7m7zlBF8WQ9qA9iFpSMySaHpVSdtSK3bA4FZ0i6KzufP35I/s1600/triangle-512.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5kGnyQFHcjBbpZr3vije9duA1Sa8MXGXj887fk-qOiA7KEgGrq3GVQmmWl439ygLlkx2J6kPlsqNdZTmh5qoFh5QKBFOOz7m7zlBF8WQ9qA9iFpSMySaHpVSdtSK3bA4FZ0i6KzufP35I/s1600/triangle-512.gif" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="mso-tab-count: 4;"> </span> <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The Buddha
(or any individual) strives to perfect her/himself by destroying her/his own
illusions, giving the ultimate “gift” to her/himself. From this realization,
which includes becoming fearless, the desire naturally flows forth to help all
sentient beings, as one realizes the world’s complete interconnectivity. The
Dharma is thereby brought into being and spread. For it to be sustained, a
group is formed—the Sangha. The Sangha supports the Dharma, and gives the
teaching to all who will hear it. This encourages the development of further
seekers, which leads to the arising of new Buddhas and thereby continues the circular
flow about the triangle.<o:p></o:p></div>
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For our own development in Aikido
in relation to giving, we must give on all levels. We may begin with ourselves,
coming to the practice to seek ourselves, or our own interest in the art. We
are here giving a gift to ourselves, allowing ourselves to grow and mature and
develop fearlessness—the stage of the Buddha. But it cannot stop there. As we
grow in understanding, we must give our knowledge to others and seek to spread
the principles of Aikido to the degree we can understand them—this is the stage
of the Dharma. This giving will naturally lead to the growth of like-minded
seekers, which will be a support for future individuals. This group of seekers
or practitioners—the Sangha—has to be supported in order for the flow of giving,
and thereby development, to continue.<o:p></o:p></div>
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To summarize, we can think of
giving and practice on three levels:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Practice for oneself;<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Practice for the
art/principles/law;<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Practice for/with others.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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The three practices of giving are
interconnected and, to my mind, cannot be separated. Let us try and engage in a
true practice of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">dana </i>and go forth
and practice giving on all levels.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
R. Savoca, with R. Heins<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
1 January 2014<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
New York<o:p></o:p></div>
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Ryuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-73387989664183936152014-01-04T22:48:00.001-05:002014-01-04T22:48:34.912-05:00"I wanted only to try to live in obedience to the promptings which came from my true self. Why was that so very difficult?"<br />
<br />
-Demian, by Herman HesseRyuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-68729754346261042582013-12-06T10:57:00.000-05:002013-12-06T22:14:00.608-05:00want what you have<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: Times;"> <span style="font-size: large;">In
college, my voice teacher once told me a story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There was a famous music professor who toured the country giving
lectures to huge audiences several times a year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those who knew the man on a more personal level
knew that he was rather reserved and timid, always preferring to stand outside
of the spotlight, but when he was on stage, he gave the most impassioned
speeches.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A colleague of his approached
him once after one of these lectures and asked him how he did it: How was he
able to transform himself into this other powerful, confident being. The man
turned to him shyly and pulled out two small pieces of paper from his left and
right jacket pockets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In his left hand
the paper said, “I am a speck of dust in the Universe.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In his right, “I am the Master of the
Universe.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He went on to explain that he
reads the paper in his right pocket before going out on stage, and he reads the
other as soon as he’s off stage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One to
inspire, one to humble himself.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It must have been August when I went
to train one day because I was already sweating as I walked into the dojo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember having a sense of dread about that
day’s class, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Work was stressful
that week, family stuff, I hadn’t been able to come to class that much that
week, blah, blah, blah…and now a class in the middle of a heat wave, at noon,
with only a handful of other people training.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was about to be crushed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And, I was right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel Sensei thrives under these
conditions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He must because we began
that class with a slew of rapidly changing conditioning exercises that led straight
into the techniques.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was all a
blur.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We switched so quickly from
technique to technique, from pins to throws, all while the dojo magically
transformed into a sauna.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all
struggled that day forcing ourselves just to stand after each throw.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Through sheer necessity, we pushed each other
to dig a little deeper, to find that extra kernel of strength until that final
clap from Sensei came.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Class ended, and
I was drenched in sweat (mostly my own), breathing heavily, and feeling pretty
awesome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I survived.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All the baggage I brought into the dojo with
me had somehow melted away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>While cleaning upstairs, Sensei made
a comment about the weather.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I responded
that the heat did not bother me so much as the humidity did especially during
training.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sensei looked at me and
countered by saying that you have to believe that this is the only way you want
to train, whether it is a hundred degrees or below freezing in the dojo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Then you’ll always have what you want,” he
said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to take a moment to let that
extremely true and beautifully simple statement sink in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps it is societal but it is very easy to
see the negative in everything and very easy to carry that around with us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We sabotage ourselves by creating an
environment where everything that happens, happens to us thereby diminishing
our own power.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It becomes a cycle of
victimizing oneself, a cycle of which I am very guilty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The answer to change this all around seems so
simple, but I have been learning every day since that the application is the
hardest part. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>How can we all just “Be Here!” as
the posters in the dojo say?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do we
let go of everything to focus solely on the task at hand? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perspective is a powerful ability.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There will be times when we have to give that
speech or take fall after fall, and from what I understand of Sensei’s
statement, we have to learn that the situation will stay the same.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How we respond and the attitude in which we
confront that situation is key.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has
been a couple months since that moment, and translating that idea on and off
the mat is a constant battle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A battle
that seems less daunting the more I am on the mat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Funny how that works out, isn’t it?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: large;">-A. Fukui</span></div>
Ryuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-69193176158266885782013-10-06T21:29:00.001-04:002013-10-06T21:29:57.452-04:00From One Thing Know Ten Thousand Things by J. Shannon<div class="p1">
Miyamoto Musashi captured in his writing, 'The Book of Five Rings' (written 1643 A.D.), a key difference in the oriental and occidental mindset. In western culture we are often encouraged to do everything well, and to focus on those things that we do not naturally do well to improve upon them. This with the idea that we will become more well-rounded. Just think of what students go through with college applications in the western world as an example. Regardless of how good you are at math or science, writing or art, you have to show that you were involved in clubs, sports, and school politics to get placed in some of the best schools.</div>
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<div class="p1">
In the eastern culture the practiced study of one thing is more often prized over general knowledge. Each person has their role in society and each person is expected to perform that role with the highest of skill, regardless of how exalted or menial the task might be. In 'The Book of Five Rings,' Musashi says in reference to the study of the art of the sword... "This is something that requires thorough examination, with a thousand days of practice for training and ten thousand days of practice for refinement." Ten thousand days is roughly thirty years of deliberate practice and devotion, which leaves little other time for alternate study.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
The idea of this concentrated study is that through this one art, you will know all others. The implication is that the mastery of one art allows the practitioner to understand the interconnectedness of events and objects and similarities in all things and that truth is easier to find this way than in dabbling and being distracted with ten thousand different arts.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<div class="p1">
What the modern western students of martial arts can take away from this way of thinking is to focus their attention on a few things, to be deliberate with their study of those things, patient with the learning curve that follows, and to understand that through thorough examination of their art they may one day understand the truth of all art.</div>
Ryuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-4641434158618301102013-08-06T20:59:00.002-04:002013-08-06T20:59:30.581-04:00From John Cage, Regarding Teachers and Students<div class="MsoBodyText">
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">RULE ONE: Find a place you
trust, and then try trusting it for awhile.<br />
<br />
RULE TWO: General duties of a student - pull everything out of your teacher;
pull everything out of your fellow students.<br />
<br />
RULE THREE: General duties of a teacher - pull everything out of your
students.<br />
<br />
RULE FOUR: Consider everything an experiment.<br />
<br />
RULE FIVE: be self-disciplined - this means finding someone wise or smart and
choosing to follow them. To be disciplined is to follow in a good way. To be
self-disciplined is to follow in a better way.<br />
<br />
RULE SIX: Nothing is a mistake. There’s no win and no fail, there’s only make.<br />
<br />
RULE SEVEN: The only rule is work. If you work it will lead to something. It’s
the people who do all of the work all of the time who eventually catch on to
things.<br />
<br />
RULE EIGHT: Don’t try to create and analyze at the same time. They’re different
processes.<br />
<br />
RULE NINE: Be happy whenever you can manage it. Enjoy yourself. It’s lighter
than you think.<br />
<br />
RULE TEN: We’re breaking all the rules. Even our own rules. And how do we do
that? By leaving plenty of room for X quantities.<br />
<br />
HINTS: Always be around. Come or go to everything. Always go to classes. Read
anything you can get your hands on. Look at movies carefully, often. Save
everything - it might come in handy later. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Ryuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-46255912182114827622013-07-13T19:37:00.001-04:002013-07-13T19:37:36.698-04:00aikido poetry from the kids' class<div class="p1">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div class="p1">
<b><u>Aikido Techniques</u></b></div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
Two people facing each other.</div>
<div class="p1">
The people are standing like this:</div>
<div class="p1">
They put one leg in front</div>
<div class="p1">
The other in back.</div>
<div class="p1">
Looking to the side,<br />
one person grabs other.</div>
<div class="p1">
So the person who’s being grabbed<br />
slides behind the person.</div>
<div class="p1">
The person leans back.</div>
<div class="p1">
The person lets go.</div>
<div class="p1">
The other person grabs the person,<br />
puts down the other.</div>
<br />
<div class="p1">
Slaps the floor.</div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
-S. Presser, Age 6</div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<b><u>Shikko Walk</u></b></div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
Put one leg down the other facing the Kamiza.</div>
<div class="p1">
Shikko.</div>
<div class="p1">
Slide the leg that’s down toward the leg that’s up.</div>
<div class="p1">
</div>
<div class="p1">
Then keep on doing it.</div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
-S. Presser, Age 6</div>
Ryuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-55312307193365454632013-06-28T17:34:00.000-04:002013-06-28T17:34:45.544-04:00Difficulties on the wayThe difficulty in practicing Aikido lies in the fact that each of us brings the entire sum of who we are onto the mat. Nothing truly is left behind. The idea to leave behind your day and your struggles as you take off your shoes is a nice one, but is it possible, truly? Every action we have taken, every internal and external event is carried within us, perhaps even on a cellular level. We are the sum of an entirety of causes up until this moment-- and we bring all of them to practice Aikido, or for that matter, anything. A tension in the shoulder, a fear of this or that, an inability to perceive a movement or, on the contrary, an ease in movement, a certain degree of relaxation-- all these are the result of karma. I use the word karma here to mean the entirety of who I am up until now, which includes genetics, upbringing, external events, and the possibility of past lives (who knows?). <br />
<br />
Another way to put it: I bring all my resistance as well as my desire to learn Aikido. How can it be otherwise? And if this is true, what hope is there for me to learn anything? For ultimately, I will always superimpose anything given to me with my own views, biases and limitations.<br />
<br />
For myself, the only hope lies in seeing my resistance, seeing my prejudices. If I can see these often enough, perhaps I can avoid falling into the same habits. There is no easy way. There is no "I've got it." There are moments of real encounters, real letting go. And then...my resistance, my prejudice, my ego is there. It always comes back. Perhaps, in time, it will be less and less- it will soften and not be so overbearing.<br />
<br />
But for now, if I really want to practice, to learn, I have to understand my resistance, my biases. I have to see accurately the sides of me that don't want to practice, don't want to learn, and that don't want to go along with what is shown. Looking for these sides is difficult, because they don't often want to be seen, and "I" really don't want to change, do I?<br />
<br />
So let's try and take a look at this more in our practice. <br />
<br />
New York, 2013<br />
Ryugan<br />
<br />Ryuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-63428070475974124652013-05-22T23:04:00.000-04:002013-05-22T23:04:17.700-04:00From the Magazine <u style="font-weight: bold;">Parabola</u>, Volume XIII, No. 1, February 1988. An interview with painter Paul Reynard:<br />
<br />
<u style="font-weight: bold;">Question:</u> Is struggle an element that helps bring force to a work? There needs to be a state of very alert and active receptivity in order to work as an artist, and at the same time it seems that there is an opposite movement needed in order to express that. Is there a contradiction here? Is it in the change from one to the other that the struggle comes in?<br />
<br />
<u style="font-weight: bold;">Reynard:</u> It seems to me that, on the contrary, it is very close. It is only at the moment that you are open that something is expressed. It is a rather mysterious process, because you can work and work for a long time and not find what you want. You come to a point where you seem to have exhausted all the possible means for this work, all the thoughts you have, all the emotion, in other words, you are finished. There's no more to say-- you are like a fruit that has been squeezed. And this moment is very important. It's the moment when you may open. All the necessary elements are present without any order. You are even at the point where you are ready to destroy what you have done. It is nevertheless a very precious moment, because it is then when something new may emerge, something which was in you but which you didn't know, you didn't see. And that is the real moment of expression.<br />
<br />
When I'm no longer trying to do something, I begin to feel I am led, as if my brush was just following a definite path. I am just following something which I merely initiated. At that point I am open to something which I was unable to express before when I wanted to direct it. And strangely enough the best moment, and the best result, is when I am here in front of the painting, and the hand is so to speak free. I am not imposing. At the same time it is me who paints. But it is as if I were following a kind of secret indication. I am no longer fighting. The struggle has taken place before this moment, when I was at the point of giving up. And if at that point I'm open enough, then something occurs, something completely new, something which seems to be true, something true in relation to what was within myself at that very moment.<br />
<br />Ryuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-81338020361616604152013-03-25T10:15:00.001-04:002013-03-25T10:15:19.707-04:00"A Lesson Learned Living in the Dojo" - M. Croes
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<div class="p1">
<span class="Apple-tab-span"></span> When I was asked to write a blog post for the dojo it immediately sparked a sense of anxiety. I’m not much of a writer and prefer doing things of a more tactile and physical nature, e.g. cleaning. So as I started this I began thinking about why I feel a sense of anxiety around this kind of task; what impact does it have on my training ? This points to a larger question that I’ve been thinking about: how to apply what I learned living in the dojo to my everyday life.</div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="Apple-tab-span"></span> The specific topic I was asked to write about was the month I spent living at the dojo. Living there is unlike any experience I’ve had. You start your day at 6:00 a.m. and the first thing you do, before brushing your teeth or putting away your futon, is to light incense and change the Kamidana (Shinto shrine) offerings. You then train Aikido or weapons for an hour, do zazen or misogi, eat breakfast, clean, train at noon class, clean, prepare dinner, train for two more evening classes, clean, get dinner ready, clean up and then hopefully sleep a few hours. The simple list of activities can’t do justice to the kind of life it is. It is something that must be experienced firsthand to understand the personal impact. I can tell you what it did for me. It showed me what is possible when you feel worn down and it taught me to begin letting go, to release some of my obsessiveness. It also brought me closer to seeing within myself how quickly I can give up on something if it becomes difficult or uncomfortable. </div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="Apple-tab-span"></span> At the dojo, you train harder than you think you will. No matter what you prepare for, you won't be truly ready for what you are confronted with. The pain, the discomfort of sleeping on futons on the floor, the emotions that begin to surface. Everything that you can hide behind outside the dojo slowly gets stripped away and you are left to embrace your faults and strengths. You begin to learn from them and hopefully make adjustments that improve you in aikido and in life. Learning this is made easier by the warmth of the people at the dojo and it gives me a sense of calm and centeredness in my life… sometimes. It's a work in progress. </div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="Apple-tab-span"></span> While living in the dojo I also had to work in the mornings at my job in New Jersey. In the beginning there was a sense of relief after such hard training to go to work and get what I perceived as "a break." But as my time progressed I found that work simply became a distraction from what was really important to me – training. And the process began to affect me both physically and emotionally. </div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="Apple-tab-span"></span> In a way I came to appreciate the sheer exhaustion of living there because there was no energy left for much of anything. Every day - on the mat and off - I have anxiety about doing things correctly or accomplishing things. I get frustrated when I attempt even simple movements: left foot here, right there, and then I go to do it and find myself with my feet switched or slouching or hunching my shoulders. That's not to mention being able to do something correctly one day and then not the next. But in my time living in the dojo the anxiety lessened and I was able to do more of what frightens and frustrates me. I had to let go of something. It would have been impossible to function otherwise. In Aikido and in life one has to let go of attachments and desires in order to move on and to improve. The letting go of tension, anger, fear all have to happen. Part of improving - we’ve all heard - is becoming “relaxed with tension"; how to accomplish that has been something I have been asking myself for some time. When I find the answer I’ll post it. </div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="Apple-tab-span"></span> If you told me two years ago that cleaning and training in a martial art could teach me about letting go and becoming more relaxed I wouldn’t have believed you. When I first started to train I would look for excuses to not go to the dojo or to not stay as long because of some fear or anxiety. Now, I look for excuses to be there longer or to stay for that extra class that I don’t really want to do. I still have ups and downs and there are times when I don’t want to go, when laziness or emotions win out. It is a work in progress. But I am definitely taking the advice I was given by Sensei when I stopped sleeping at the dojo… “keep going."</div>
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-Michael Croes</div>
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Ryuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-66563544698418237142013-02-20T11:15:00.000-05:002013-02-20T11:15:17.388-05:00Quote from Master Takeda Mokurai for Reflection"They say that if you practice Zen, you will be calm. Some misunderstand these words because they are attached to the literal sense of the word 'calm.' They think they will be completely unaffected even when struck by a thunderbolt. But this is not true. The subtle meaning of Zen lies in spontaneous response. If thunder peals, we peal, too; if an earthquake comes to shake us, we ourselves shake with it. It is childish to say that those who practice Zen will never care nor fuss about anything."<br />
<br />
-from Zen no KatsatsuRyuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-54169080573467481802012-12-20T10:40:00.000-05:002012-12-21T13:43:26.837-05:00Essay from Sensei R. Heins, Northwest Michigan Aikikai<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">An
experience during a recent visit to Tokyo got me thinking about the meaning and
implications of the sempai–kohai relationship. I had arranged to meet up with a
group of old acquaintances from another aikido organization for drinks—people I
hadn’t seen in several years. We hadn’t trained together at Hombu yet—I was
meeting them after practice that day. When I got to the bar, one of them, a
woman I had met only once before, didn’t shake my hand or give me an
American-style hug like everyone else had, but instead stood in front of me and
bowed and said, “Good to see you, sempai.” For reasons I didn’t understand at
the time, I found this intensely irritating and avoided her for the rest of the
evening.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">I
later felt sorry for being so rude, and spent some time trying to figure out
what had bothered me so much about this interaction. Part of it was the
unnatural formality of her greeting; I felt like snapping at her, “I’m not
Japanese, for god’s sake!” It generally strikes me as false when Westerners
adopt Japanese manners with each other, especially outside of a dojo context.
But after more thought, I realized that my reaction stemmed from the
implications of her using the term “sempai” to address me. She and I are not in
the same organization, much less the same dojo; we had not trained together.
But she addressed me as “sempai,” which to me implies a close relationship with
the other person and contains a heavy burden of mutual obligation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
best way I can describe a sempai’s role in English is the idea of “taking
someone under your wing”; there is an implied reciprocal responsibility between
sempai and kohai. Personally speaking, there are few people I would consider my
sempai in this sense. Robert Savoca is one of them—if I were speaking to him in
front of a group of senior Japanese teachers, or talking about him to one of
them, I might refer to him as “Savoca sempai.” He has gone out of his way to
support my training and my development as an aikidoist, and he has always been
willing to offer counsel about technical matters or some problem or roadblock
in my training. Reciprocally, to the best of my ability I try to take care of
him if there is anything that I can do that his own students cannot. There is a
deep friendship between us as well, of course, so our actions toward each other
are not mere rote based on rank; they have developed naturally over time. That
said, under normal circumstances I use his given name; I don’t address him as “Savoca
sempai.” If I called him that, it would put a kind of barrier of formality
between us. When I talk about him with his own students, I generally refer to
him as “Savoca sensei.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
Japanese terms “sempai,” “kohai,” and “dohai” may be misunderstood in Western
dojos, if they are used at all; likewise, cultural concepts of seniority can be
misinterpreted. Literally speaking, “sempai” means “earlier/previous member [of
a group]”; “kohai” means “later member”; and “dohai”—used far less often—means “equal
member,” and refers to someone who joined the dojo at the same time as oneself.
Based on my experiences in Japan, I would say it’<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3440363397559726172" name="_GoBack"></a>s not
terribly common outside the university milieu to address a person as “sempai”
directly. But both in and out of martial-arts situations, sempai/kohai/dohai
are generally used to describe one’s relationship with another person to a
third party, e.g. “Charlie is my sempai; he was third kyu when I joined the
dojo.” Or “Alice is my kohai; she started working at this company three years
after I did.” “James and I are dohai; we entered university at the same time.”
In a martial-arts context, the use of these terms depends heavily on
circumstances and the culture of the dojo itself. But it’s important to
understand that they relate to relationships within a given group, and that
certain expectations and obligations are attached to them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">When I
first came to Hombu in 2004, I was yondan in rank, and was a certified shidoin
within Birankai. When I began practicing at the dojo, however, I was told in no
uncertain terms that I was junior (kohai, if you like) to everyone in the dojo
who had joined before me, regardless of their rank. It didn’t take much time
for me to understand why this made sense. I didn’t know the routines at the
dojo—how the cleaning was done, how one lined up for class, how this instructor
or that expected people to do shomenuchi ikkyo—so it made sense that I was
supposed look to more experienced people to help me learn these things. If
there was no one around but a fifth-kyu white belt, I would ask that person for
guidance. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">In my
seven years at Hombu dojo, no one ever called me “sempai,” and I never
addressed anyone else that way, either. The term is used a lot in the context
of university sports clubs, where there is a keen awareness of seniority;
perhaps this is where some Westerners picked it up. Students in clubs are
expected to address their seniors as “sempai” and look to them for guidance and
direction. This is to some extent a way of training them for the Japanese
corporate world, which is far more hierarchical than the Western business
milieu. It is also a way to keep the dynamics of a university club, whose
members naturally turn over at a rapid rate, at a consistent level. Outside the
university context, however, the use of “sempai” and “kohai” are far more
varied. Some dojos may encourage their students to address seniors as “sempai”;
others will not. (One never addresses a junior as “kohai”; to point so directly
to their inferior status would be rude.) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">To
describe the sempai–kohai relationship in more general terms, I would say that
a sempai—that is, a senior dojo member—is expected to show leadership,
demonstrate proper form and correct etiquette, and help newer members
understand how things go around the dojo, from what the expected stance is for
striking shomen to how to clean the toilets. Some people assume that when they
reach “sempai” status, they no longer need to do mundane tasks like dusting, or
even folding their own hakama. This is not what I experienced in Japan.
Regardless of rank, everyone was expected to shoulder their responsibilities;
if someone was not cleaning, it was assumed that they had other duties to
attend to, not that they were exempt from it. And everyone at Hombu folds their
own hakama. Kohai, for their part, generally sought out sempai for practice,
watched them for clues about how to behave, and tried to be the first to take
care of “easy” dojo responsibilities like cleaning the mat and other shared
areas.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">In
America, I have seen some things that I consider odd or even harmful regarding seniority
in a dojo in general, often under the rubric of “sempai/kohai.” The anecdote at
the beginning of this essay shows how these terms, if applied thoughtlessly,
can create barriers. Or a dan-ranked student may join a new dojo and expect to
be given teaching responsibility simply because their rank is higher than other
members’. Or an instructor hands over teaching responsibility without taking
the time to confirm that the dan-ranked new member executes techniques in a way
that is consistent with the practice at that dojo. The entire dynamic of a dojo
can be affected by these kinds of decisions. Naturally, it is always up to a
chief instructor to assign teaching responsibility, and her decision must be
unequivocally respected. In general, though, my feeling is that the person who
has been training at the dojo longest should be deferred to by everyone. If you
are a guest in a dojo, it is likewise a good idea to take ukemi first when you
are training, so you can feel how a technique is done in that dojo.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Obviously,
this is not a black-and-white matter, and the idea of “senior” vs. “junior” is
heavily context-dependent. A student who joined in 2002 and has trained once a
week since then will naturally have a poorer understanding of their teacher’s
aikido than one who joined in 2003 but practices five days a week. In such
cases, seniority in rank becomes an appropriate yardstick. And at regional
seminars and other events where all participants are more or less equal in “membership,”
rank would be a much more relevant determinant of the senior/junior role.
Complicating matters further is the fact that rank is sometimes conferred for
reasons other than technical ability. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">In the
final analysis, it seems to me that the best policy to adopt is one of
flexibility, based on the understanding that your role as senior (or junior) is
always relative, and will shift according to context. Regardless of rank, you
should take care to fulfill your responsibilities as they present themselves,
and treat everyone in the dojo—not only your instructor and seniors, but also
your juniors and yourself—with sincere respect. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Ryuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-336995108907018422012-12-16T22:13:00.000-05:002012-12-16T22:13:58.037-05:00A day of Aikido and Zazen with Meido Roshi<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsMCFG8EHCiiyTXIIr2cC5ZPoaWz6lGNfOGP_RIbY1VAF2SOzspAJcmtOZaeYeQU3-m6PF5My1B9121dobgSVYOMG9aAiZvicRCnpNI06JVI20VbmP3HTj8b6WdtnM8oK2QHpJlGoElvB8/s1600/IMG_0421.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsMCFG8EHCiiyTXIIr2cC5ZPoaWz6lGNfOGP_RIbY1VAF2SOzspAJcmtOZaeYeQU3-m6PF5My1B9121dobgSVYOMG9aAiZvicRCnpNI06JVI20VbmP3HTj8b6WdtnM8oK2QHpJlGoElvB8/s320/IMG_0421.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
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We had a wonderful day of training with Meido Roshi-- about 25 members for a dynamic Aikido class and 13 of us for four and a half hours of zazen. Roshi emphasized putting forth positive ki and not pulling one's energy. Let us bring this spirit into the New Year! </div>
Ryuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-79815488669411793092012-12-09T21:09:00.000-05:002012-12-09T21:09:06.209-05:00Verse 276 from the Dhammapada<span style="text-align: justify;">You yourselves should make the effort; the Tathagatas (Buddhas) only can show the way. Those who practise the Tranquillity and Insight Meditation are freed from the bond of Mara.</span><br />
<span style="text-align: justify;"><br /></span>
<span style="text-align: justify;">-</span>Translated by Daw Mya Tin, M.A.<br />
<br />
(entire translation here:<br />
<a href="http://www.tipitaka.net/tipitaka/dhp/index.php">http://www.tipitaka.net/tipitaka/dhp/index.php</a>Ryuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-90180483994742428302012-11-06T22:27:00.000-05:002012-11-06T22:27:42.885-05:00Autobiography in Five Chapters, by Portia Nelson<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">Chapter 1<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">I walk down the street.</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">There is a deep hole in the
sidewalk.</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">I fall in.</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">I am lost ... I am helpless.</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">It isn't my fault.</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">It takes forever to find a way
out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">Chapter 2<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">I walk down the same street.</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">There is a deep hole in the
sidewalk.</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">I pretend I don't see it.</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">I fall in again.</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">I can't believe I am in the
same place.</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">But it isn't my fault.</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">It still takes a long time to
get out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">Chapter 3<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">I walk down the same street.</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">There is a deep hole in the
sidewalk.</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">I see it is there.</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">I still fall in ... it's a
habit.</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">My eyes are open.</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">I know where I am.</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">It is my fault.</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">I get out immediately.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">Chapter 4<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">I walk down the same street.</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">There is a deep hole in the
sidewalk.</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">I walk around it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">Chapter 5<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">I walk down another street.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->Ryuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-70554347021376077152012-09-25T22:01:00.000-04:002012-09-25T22:01:04.568-04:00Post Nimando Training, September 2012<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcCSSax_bap-9wlxD0QlAW1a3ukZ4xze_MyQ4tX9XvooX2vBPkdpHLQFfOronh40ixuZ_b50XzFno8vxBHkIg8DtIJ9-kLWfiGZS_u9FJEnOwrF3A_Iihrib-o1aWv8Azn9QxdTzHPR2W1/s1600/SDC13950.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcCSSax_bap-9wlxD0QlAW1a3ukZ4xze_MyQ4tX9XvooX2vBPkdpHLQFfOronh40ixuZ_b50XzFno8vxBHkIg8DtIJ9-kLWfiGZS_u9FJEnOwrF3A_Iihrib-o1aWv8Azn9QxdTzHPR2W1/s320/SDC13950.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Ryuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-67788852087114401962012-09-23T21:30:00.001-04:002012-09-23T21:32:38.518-04:00Office Petals<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> “What’s the matter with you!” Sensei boomed at a
student stretching before class—silencing what little noise there’d been.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> Shocked,
the hakama-wearing student jumped from his pose and asked what he’d done wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> “You
should know!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> Years
later, I’d still not figured out just what the student’s mistake had been. Perhaps he’d had his back to the
kamiza. Or to Sensei. Or maybe he’d left his shoes at the
door facing in the wrong direction.
Whatever it was, for me, the incident came to represent the dojo’s
atmosphere: one of an almost palpable tenseness, a heightened reality in which
constant awareness was demanded.
And tested. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bell MT";">And then one day, “I’d like you to
clean my office for a while,” said Sensei. “I’d be honored,” I said, but, <i>Oh fiddlesticks, </i></span><span style="font-family: "Bell MT";">I thought.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> That
winter night, lying in my bed unable to sleep, aching from a particularly
brutal Aikido class (a pre-emptive “thank you” for my services?), my ego
outlined for me just what my new commitment was to require: <i>more
subservience; unpaid work; a boss whose eye for detail was unparalleled; </i></span><span style="font-family: "Bell MT";">and, of course, <i>responsibility over his
personal stuff!</i></span><span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> What if I broke
something? Was this actually—like
the rest of the dojo—just one big test?
Excuses for backing out of my new job rolled from my tired brain faster
than—forgive me—anticipating ukemi.
I’d write him that very second!
Tell him I was too busy, too overburdened already, concerned with wage
laws, needed some time, money, vacation days, respect… I fell asleep.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> My
first time cleaning the office, I was assisted by the student whose role I was
assuming. She seemed giddy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> “Are
you excited?” she asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> “Not
really,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> And
then that voice again, roaring from somewhere down the hall: “What are you guys
doing in there? Cleaning or having
a coffee?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> <i>This
won’t do, </i></span><span style="font-family: "Bell MT";">I thought.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> We
finished soon afterwards. And the
next week, cleaning by myself this time, my companion’s parting words lingered:
“Wow—this goes by so much faster when you have two people!” How true! Alone in that room—an elegant office kept so pristine it
looked as though it had been sanitized that very morning—a polished, hand-crafted
desk made of a single piece of wood, a collection of antique swords, a rock
garden, stunning pictures of picture-perfect Aikido—I was suddenly overwhelmed
by just how <i>many </i></span><span style="font-family: "Bell MT";">objects
there were to clean. Books,
kamiza, desk, computer, floor, many knives, many swords, teapot and cups,
windows, an array of precarious glass picture-frames, calligraphy materials, <i>more</i></span><span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> books, carpet, incense holders, medical
supplies, curiously positioned stones, a whicker, undustable basket, decorative
boxes, functional boxes, yes, <i>more</i></span><span style="font-family: "Bell MT";">
books, briefcases, zafu and zabuton, whiskey bottles, and objects so foreign I
couldn’t even guess their purpose.
An hour passed and I was only half way done. I missed my partner.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bell MT";">“You can take a break,” said Sensei,
and I finished after class.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> I
went home both happy to be done and frustrated I’d have to do it again. For the next six months. Or maybe a year. Or maybe forever: I hadn’t been given
an end date. And waiting for me in
my email, a note from Sensei’s wife, whose eye was apparently just as keen,
just as fiendish: “The office looks pretty good, but here’s a tip from an old
pro: Use one book to line up the spines of the rest of the books.” <i>Line up the spines?</i></span><span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> I
didn’t even know that was a <i>thing</i></span><span style="font-family: "Bell MT";">. I looked at my own overcrowded
bookshelf. This was either a test
or some cruel joke. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> The
following weeks, I was determined to do better—to be more efficient! Attempting to banish thoughts of <i>free
labor</i></span><span style="font-family: "Bell MT";">, I decided I was being
tested. Every speck of dust, every
misplaced object had been left or moved on purpose to see just how aware I
was. When a month into my weekly
cleaning routine I realized I’d never taken a match box out of its wooden
container to look underneath, I did just that to discover a miniscule ball of
lint—<i>Aha! </i></span><span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> I thought. <i>This must be the test! I passed! </i></span><span style="font-family: "Bell MT";">But more weeks went by. No mention of the lint or the little white fleck I’d found
underneath an extension cord.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> Months. A new season. One week I was told not to <i>over</i></span><span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> clean.
Another week to clean areas within the span of a single breath. Another, after asking whether to return
a relocated marker to its original place—the place I’d been carefully laying it
since I’d started—I was told: Use
your brain. On another occasion,
after Sensei had been abroad and I’d been cleaning in his absence, he asked
whether I’d cleaned the office that week.
<i>Cleaned it? </i></span><span style="font-family: "Bell MT";">I’d done more than clean it: I’d <i>loved</i></span><span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> it!
I’d treated each item with a delicate, nurturing respect. Had cleaned nooks accessible only to
the smallest of children’s fingers.
But it was true: The office
was so consistently clean, that some days, it <i>was</i></span><span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> hard to tell whether I’d been in there at
all. What kind of test was this?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> Summer.
Some weeks I tried to work
quickly. Others more
thoroughly. Sometimes I focused on
my breathing, others on my sense of hearing, touch, or that most important of
all body parts in Aikido: my gut.
And still others my mind wandered: to my own chores, my own
responsibilities, to anywhere but where I was. And as the weeks passed—as I came to know that meticulously
organized office better than my own home—I grew more confident. My goal became speed. Then one day, with a confidence
bordering on cockiness (perhaps already tipped over that line), I’d just
finished wiping the picture frames when timed with a loud yell from Sensei’s
misogi down the hall, a framed quote fell and shattered across his office
floor. I cleaned, vacuumed, and
brought the remains to Sensei.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> “I
broke this,” I said, handing him the now glassless Arabic quote.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> <i>WHOOSH!
</i></span><span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> He stopped a punch a half inch from my face. “This is the most important thing in
the dojo,” he said. “It says: In
the name of God. Fix it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> I
trembled. But of course, it was
not the most important thing. It
was no more or less important than any of the objects that, through their
grouping and individualized care, comprised that rarified space we call <i>dojo</i></span><span style="font-family: "Bell MT";">.
Had I broken a picture of his sensei, that too would have been the most
important. A sword? The same. <i>No</i></span><span style="font-family: "Bell MT";">, I
thought, <i>this is finally the test</i></span><span style="font-family: "Bell MT";">. I fixed the frame, replaced it so that
it looked like nothing had happened, like I’d never set foot in his office—left
it, in fact, <i>better </i></span><span style="font-family: "Bell MT";">secured
than it had been—but I was no longer sure if my job was a trial. Maybe I was just cleaning for the sake
of cleaning, training for the sake of training. When a month later he said he’d be assigning the task to
someone else, I was surprisingly disappointed. I had grown accustomed to my chore, had developed a liking
for it even. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Bell MT";"> My
last week, he told me to see him when I was finished. I had to meet him before class started, and so I cleaned
faster and yet more thoroughly—with greater efficiency and awareness—than any
of the days before. If it was a
sort of test, I didn’t know, but I don’t know that I really cared either. I would miss the four-stoned rock
garden, the finely sharpened swords, the philosophers’ quotes and books that
every week reminded me of how much there was to know, to ponder. On my way upstairs to meet with him, I
noticed a single flower petal on one of the steps. I picked it up and went to sit with him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Bell MT';"> “Ah
good,” he said, “you got the flower.”</span><!--EndFragment-->
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<span style="font-family: 'Bell MT';"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Bell MT';">-A. Cruciani</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Bell MT"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span>Ryuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-48787641922587316282012-09-06T10:47:00.000-04:002012-09-06T10:47:13.426-04:00On Strength by Diana Lee<br />
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Strength is having an
identity that is centered in something other than your accomplishments. Then,
when you fail (which all of us inevitably will), your foundation will not be
shaken. Rather than questioning your worth and subsequently acting out of fear and
defensiveness, you can remain confident and look for how you can become better
from the experience. It is this strength that allows you to work towards the improvement
of those around you instead of pushing others down so you can get one step
ahead. It permits you to put your ego aside and be willing to make mistakes in front
of others in order to learn something new without feeling ashamed. It motivates
you to persevere at those tasks that challenge and stretch you the most and to
ask for help when you need guidance. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I want to find this strength
in my practice of aikido as well as in every other aspect of my life. In
aikido, I am not strong because I can perform advanced moves and take ukemi
well or because I’ve reached a certain level of training. I am not weak because
I am still fumbling with basic moves and figuring out what it means to move
from my center. I may not always remember this truth, especially in those
moments when I’ve failed in one way or another, but I hope that I will return
to it so that I can be someone who grows from her failures, is gracious to
others, and is humble yet always striving to improve. <o:p></o:p></div>
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-D. Lee</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Ryuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-78473721396477369312012-08-28T13:46:00.000-04:002012-08-29T11:43:23.606-04:00"What does it mean to be strong in Aikido?" - Dojo essay topic given July 2012<br />
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In my first several years of training I worked to be “stronger” - pushing harder into my partner, doing more bunny hops, sweating through suburi, trying not to be last in the arm drag. I also had to build up a kind of “armor” to protect me from Sensei’s demands and reprimands. I grew stronger physically - my body changed noticeably. And I could (usually) present a stoic face when being yelled at. </div>
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As time goes on I see that this was a very <span class="s1">limited</span> way to look at things… though I think it is a necessary stage. Now I tend to think of strength more in terms of a spirit that can meet whatever comes without flinching or backing away. I often think of Lyons Sensei saying, “Present yourself!” On the mat you can see and feel when someone grabs or strikes or invites an attack with his or her whole self… well, I won’t say “whole,” but <span class="s1">more</span> of his or her self.</div>
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I’ve been feeling a lot of the men in the dojo getting “stronger” - they can grab so hard it hurts. And slowly I see the other strength growing in them as well - getting up again with fire to grab Sensei after they’ve just been thrashed. But what I notice particularly in those that I would call “strong” is a steady center - physically and spiritually. Attacking or throwing from one’s center, standing solid and rooted to the earth, one’s whole body working as a unity to do what needs to be done. </div>
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Along with developing that physical center, that core of rooted strength, comes the development of an inner strength to face one’s fears and one’s self and not flinch. It seems to me that those two things grow together and feed each other. I have told beginners to “fake it ‘til you make it” because in my experience it seems that by presenting a steady posture and perhaps silently “daring” uke to attack, one can slowly build up the <i>true</i> confidence that is really needed. Eventually you can move away from the flimsy competitiveness of false bravado and dares. Then maybe you can grow closer to something like O Sensei’s instructions to: “Fill yourself with ki and <i>invite</i> your opponent to strike” (my italics). </div>
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In aikido we are asked to give and receive techniques equally and therefore must develop a center that can deliver power and flow with it too. Our strength on the mat lies in this center and also in our ability to meet each situation with as much of ourselves as we can call to attention in the moment.<br />
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-K. Savoca<br />
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Ryuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3440363397559726172.post-8861315451558964132012-08-20T17:21:00.000-04:002012-08-20T17:22:16.745-04:00from U.G. Krishnamurti" 'I don't know what to do, I am helpless, totally helpless'-- as long as you think you are totally helpless, you will depend on some outside agency."<br />
<br />
-U.G. Krishnamurti, as quoted in <u>Goner</u>, by Louis BrawleyRyuganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12231521819373417740noreply@blogger.com0